Wedding Vows and Custom Ceremonies

We have had some lovely experiences with couples who wanted special variations or additions to the Danish ceremony. The words in the official ceremony are actually charming and appropriate, and for most couples they suit the occasion perfectly. But the official part of the ceremony is certainly quite short and simple. So more and more couples ask to personalise their wedding, either just by adding vows, or by expanding it, with a celebrant to introduce the occasion, welcome guests, add some special words, and especially add a reading (or two).

Moloney’s experience with ceremonies and making speeches (he was a senior military officer, and served as the UK Air Attache in Berlin) finally came in useful, and he is now our main celebrant. He liaises with the couples to find out what they would like, and lends his experience in knowing what works and what does not. The fun thing is that as long as the official part of the ceremony (which has to be done by a Danish registrar, not the celebrant) is included, we have a pretty free hand with the rest of the ceremony. This is even more the case with renewal of vows ceremonies, where there is no “official” component at all.

He also offers some suggestions for readings – and many couples have their own favourites which we have then adopted. The most requested reading for the last two years in a row?

I Love You by Roy Croft

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.